Barney Frank: Only cool guy with a lisp!

20 08 2009

Please take a second to watch a clip from a townhall meeting where Barney Frank (Mass. Democratic representative) was discussing the democrat’s plan for health care:

Oh snap extreme right wing nut job, in yo face! No one has used the comeback “What planet are you from” since the first season of Saved By the Bell. Sure it wasn’t very original but chances are she never watched Saved By the Bell because she thought the close nit friends of Bayside High were to similar to Communist Russia. You can tell by the look on her face that the insult really cut deep. At this point in the comeback she is really thinking, “Man it was dumb to put a Hitler stash on Obama, now people think I’m an alien!”

The final blow of the 1-2 combo comes with this statement, “Arguing with you would be like arguing with a dining room table, I have no interest in doing it.” If this was a free style battle, this is where Barney would drop the mic right in front of her face. At this point Miss Coo Coo for conservative puffs has dropped a load in her Bill O’ Reilly under-roos.

Reasons why this chick is two full raisin scoops behind:

1.) She thinks Obama is Hitler. Ummm Hello everyone knows that Obama can’t grow a mustache!

2.) She sees health care reform in America as a Nazi policy. You know, your actually right on this one. The Nazis definitely were concerned about the health and well being of its people. Wait…….What??……they killed 6 million Jews……uhhhhhhhh………..moving on!

3). This lady is making conservatives who actually have an honest fear about our government look horrible. A lot of people have legitimate arguments against the policies of President Obama, but they are over shadowed by morans who are too concerned with “making a point”, than actually thinking about what they are saying.

Why Barney Frank kicks ass!!

1.) Only dude with a lisp I actually enjoy listening to. If God has a lisp then he will sound just like Barney Frank. I would love to see him speak……just not from the front row.

2) The only other Barney I have ever heard of, is the big purple one. You automatically have to be a bad ass if your a homosexual with the name Barney. If I saw Barney Frank in the street I would curl into a little ball and suck my thumb!

3) Barney realizes that because our great country allows freedom of speech you will get people like this. People who just want to use their freedom to use it, instead of using it with a purpose. Instead of getting worked up over such a ridiculous accusation, Barney simply shakes his head and points out to the lady that she is going to get no where.

Side note for impressive mustache photoshoper

Thank you for expressing your beliefs in such an open public forum. Not many people are brave enough to step up and say what they really feel, i commend you for that. We have freedom of speech for a reason, so please use it as much as humanly possible. But always remember one thing, You look dumb as shit!

-AG







Lions and Tigers and Change oh my!

13 03 2009

Why do people find it necessary to fight change? If there is anything you can be certain of in life, is that it will inevitably change in some way. With this fact in mind, why is it so hard for people to embrace the idea? I find it entertaining to see the mini freak outs that occur in individual lives on a day to day basis.

Example one: The “Facebook Fiasco”. If Facebook decides to change in the most insignificant way, the borders on pictures have changed or you now have to click an extra link to get to you bumper stickers page, people will flip the fuck out. From status reactions you would assume that Anderson Cooper had just announced the second coming of Jesus in which he confirmed that Scientology is in fact correct. Is change so difficult to deal with that it causes us to start collecting caned goods for the fallout?

Example Two: Weather Wing nuts. We live on a planet that is scientifically in a constant state of change. We used to have pangea and now we have four different oceans with seven different continents. We used to have giant ice caps and glaciers, now we have puddles. The earth is always changing, that’s just what it does. So why do people freak out when the weather is not same from day to day? If there is snow and sunshine in the same weak, no church will have an empty pew. Man, woman, and child will be on their hands and knees praying for a safe transition during Armageddon. No need to worry ladies and gentlemen, that’s what the weather does, it changes. Something as simple as a change in temperature also seems to freak people out, hmmm.

change-1

So why is it that humans are naturally afraid of change? It is rather simple actually, as a species we are control freaks. We want to be able to manipulate and drive every aspect of our lives. It is just a safer approach to life. If we control it all then we never have to worry about the unexpected. The unexpected can bring danger and pain. But as we sit back in our “Man in the Bubble”, John Travolta, replica domes the world is going to change without us. Just think about all the really cool shit we are to miss out on. Who knows maybe taking a leap of faith and not being afraid of change might actually lead to living.

-Aaron G.





Ah, gracias para la "fresh bull," Señora Palin.

27 01 2009

2009. WOW. I think 2009 is, so far, promising to be an innovative year. With the inauguration of the first African-American president, the rise and fall of gas prices, citizens becoming more fiscally responsible, the conversion to all-digital television, and with the invention of the new Chipotle iPhone application, Americans are constantly thinking FORWARD. How can we work together to IMPROVE our lives? How can we improve the lives of others? Ah, it really makes one feel all warm and gooey inside. [It also makes me wanna snack on an orange glazed cinnamon roll].

Truthfully, it is my feeling that the best way to find out what people are thinking is to survey them. Right? Well, I guess that all depends on WHAT you are surveying and whether or not that survey is worth my time, your time, our time, time in general.

WELL, according to a recent survey, Sarah Palin was considered to be the most desired person Americans would want to live next door to. (Side NOTE: REALLY? You mean to tell me that money was actually put into the campaign of surveying people about this ridiculous question. WHO CARES? Seriously. Is this on the for realz?) Back to the subject at hand. Honestly, I think these results are interesting. Sure, she’s “cute,” “charming,” and “pitbull-like,” but let us consider for a moment what it would REALLY be like to have Sarah Palin as your neighbor.

Shes not crazy, shes a maverick!

She's not crazy, she's a maverick!

(These are not ranked in any sort of particular order. It’s simply a list of things I think might happen.) 

1. Hockey parties. Who doesn’t love a night over at the Palin’s with her Todd in the kitchen making stir fry and the rugrats running around the house while Piper judges them. Meanwhile, the neighbs are sitting in the family room discussing the Canes and how they are just like the Mighty Ducks. Be cautious however about getting too excited, you never know when someone might go into labor. 

2. Fresh bull. This is sort of a double entendre, if you will. Sare (my new nickname for Madame Palin) will not only grill the fresh bull/moose/bison/porpous etc. that she shot that day, but she will also dish out fresh bull…sh*t. You know, buttering you up. Like how she ate that entire fruitcake you made her when she moved onto your street. How she got her new suit at the local thrift store. That new haircut you got, just FABULOUS *wink*. Oh, and she can’t see you changing in your bedroom from her living room. We know this is a lie, because Sare sees all. She is the all-seeing and omniscient Sare. 

3. Innovative nicknames. The fact that she named her own kids names such as Trig, Track, Willow, Lawn, etc… we know she will absolutely be innovative in her naming of you and yours. 

++++

Well, no matter what, you know Sare would be a loyal neighbor. Always participating in neighborhood watch meetings, block parties, and social gatherings. And let’s be honest, she’d be a better gubernatorial neighbor than Mr. Rod Blagojevich.

All for now.