It has been forever since I have graced the pages of the MOB blog with my verbal attacks, and all together lyrical genius, but recent news has forced me out of retirement faster than the 23rd Kiss reunion tour.
CNN has taken a break from giving us every intimate detail about Tiger’s affair, to inform us that The Vatican has added Tupac Shakur’s “Changes” to its official MySpace Music Playlist. This is not a joke ladies and gentlemen this is 100% true. “The genres are very different from each other, but all these artists share the aim to reach the hearts of good minded people,” the Vatican says about their playlist.
I am sure you agree with me when I say out loud in my cube, “HONESTLY!!!”. Lets think about this for just one second Vatican. Tupac might not be the person you want speaking for your establishment. Lets not forget the fact that Tupac was arrested for sexual assault and openly talked about “plugging niggas” (if you’re super white, this means shooting someone). The Vatican preaches forgiveness so maybe they have looked past Tupac’s life choices and to his message. ERRRRRRRRRRRR fail again Vatican. Tupac has released such holy hits as: Strictly 4 my N.IG.G.A.Z. , High till’ I die, Definition of a Thug Nigga, and my personal favorite, They Don’t Give a Fuck About Us. Again I am going to give the Vatican the benefit of the doubt and say maybe “Changes” has some lyrics that represent the holy church in an appropriate fashion. 0-3 Vatican!! Lyrics include: “Cops give a damn about a negro pull the trigger kill a nigga he’s a hero”, “I see no changes wake up in the morning and I ask myself is life worth living should I blast myself?”, and “Take the evil out the people they’ll be acting right ’cause both black and white is smokin’ crack tonight.”
I understand that “Changes” has a strong message of peace and brotherhood, but I think the Vatican could have picked something that says it in a more biblical way. I am all for the Vatican opening their minds to the message, but it kind of just seems like a contradiction to me. There are plenty of other songs in the world that would represent the Vatican much better. What about “Smack my Bitch up” by Prodigy, or maybe “My Neck my Back” by Khia. “Smack my bitch up” teaches obey thy parents, and “My Neck My Back” teaches be fruitful and multiply.
This is only setting Vatican City up for a whole slue of changes. Communion you will take the blood and body of Christ (Crystal and Fried Chicken), The incense will really be weed, and the Pope mobile will have spinners and a system.
Further more, why the hell is the Vatican on MySpace? The only people left on MySpace are musicians and child molestors………oh wait.