Hollywood is doing its part to save the environment, Part 2

13 07 2009

Hey everyone, Zach here again.  As mentioned in the previous post, I have come across three scriptments for new Hollywood productions.  The second one I’ll be sharing with you is for Asteroids.  I think it’s great that the writers are wanting to go back to a more innocent, 1950’s style of science fiction.  Interestingly enough, they decided to write out a scene from what I’m assuming is the second act in their story.

Asteroids

Treatment by C. Armstrong & A. Goldsmith

EXT.  AIR FORCE BASE.  A wide-shot shows our main ensemble heading into a large hangar.  The ensemble consists of GENERAL YANCY, an older gentleman, salt-and-pepper hair fashioned in a crew-cut; PETE WILSON, a young guy, 17 at most, lithe body, a sense of wonder/naivete in his eyes; LANA ANDREWS, 27, beautiful, but in a midwest, Mary Ann from Gilligan’s Island kind of way (Note: See if producer’s secretary has acting experience); and finally CLARK WILLIAMS, a true-blooded American, tall, clean-cut, lantern-jawed hunk of a man.  The kind of man women want to bed, and men want to have a beer with (Note: This part not to be offered to Shia.  Anyone but Shia).

PETE

Golly, Clark, I can’t believe you’re really gonna go fight those big rock things!

CLARK

It’s what I do, Pete.  It’s what any good hearted, blue collar, hard working man should do.

LANA

Oh, Clark!

CLARK

Oh, Lana!

They embrace.  And embrace.  Until YANCY coughs, breaking up the moment.

YANCY

Now if you two lovebirds are done fawning over each other, it’s time Clark saw what he’ll be flying…

And with that, the hangar doors open, revealing a small ship.  It looks like it used to be a fighter plane, but the wings have been pulled back, and the nose honed down into an acute angle.  Indeed, it should bear a passing resemblance to the ship found in the video game.

PETE

That?!  He’s going to be flying that piece of junk?!

YANCY

It may look like a piece of junk, son, but trust me, it can do the job.

YANCY steps to the side.

YANCY

Hop on in, Clark, see how she feels.

CLARK obliges, climbing into the cockpit of this oddly-shaped vehicle.  Inside he finds the normally complex steering apparatus has been modified into a joystick with a red button on top, and another red button in the upper left-hand corner.

CLARK

No offense, General, but this looks a little primitive.  You sure the boys at NASA aren’t just pulling my leg?

YANCY

Clark, c’mon.  You know those space-boys don’t have time to have a sense of humor.  What you’re sitting in, son, is the height, the zenith of technology.  You know, they originally wanted to use this ship to land on the moon.

PETE

A lunar landing?  Yeah, right! (Note: Be sure to publicize history of Asteroids video game during press junkets)

YANCY

Alright, Clark, let’s see what you can do.

TWO SCIENTISTS roll out a large rock, positioning it in front of the plane.

YANCY

This is part of one of those rock things that crashed down in the heartland.  Give that top red button a push.

CLARK pushes the button.  A thin white beam bursts from the nose of the plane, landing mainly on the right side of the rock.  Instantly, the rock EXPLODES, separating into two equal halves.

CLARK

Huh, that’s interesting…

YANCY

Yeah, we can’t explain that either.  Nature of the beast, I suppose.

LANA

Oh, Clark!

YANCY

Now you’re really going to love this.  Boys, move one of those pieces behind the plane.

The SCIENTISTS oblige, positioning one of the halves at the rear.  CLARK laughs.

YANCY

Fire again.

CLARK

But…

YANCY

I said fire!

PETE

Everybody get down!

CLARK pushes the joystick button.  The white beam bursts out again, shooting across the plains for what seems like forever.  A worried look across CLARK, PETE, and LANA’s face.  YANCY’s face, however, is focused on his pocketwatch.

YANCY

Any minute now…

Suddenly, the group sees the white beam shooting across the landscape…coming towards the rear of the plane! The laser makes contact with the rock, hitting it mainly on the left, but still halving the rock cleanly down the middle.

PETE

Golly!

LANA

Oh, Clark!

YANCY smirks, as CLARK lets out an appreciative whistle.

YANCY

So what do you think, son?

CLARK

I think it’s time I showed these rocks what some good old American know-how can do!

LANA

Oh, Clark!

CLARK

Oh, Lana!

PETE

Golly!

…Eh, I say they bury this, release it sometime in January.  Or maybe August.

ZA

And, of course: Copyright, Zach Arnold, July 13th, 2009.

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