An Open Letter to Lady Gaga.

12 03 2009
2705089743_f011e138051Dear Ms. Gaga,

How’s it going? I’m hoping this letter finds you well. And by well, I mean not face-down on a shag carpet.

You see, Ms. Gaga, I’m writing this letter to you to voice my concern over the lifestyle you seem to be pursuing, as exemplified in the current singles you have out, “Just Dance” and “PokerFace.” Every time I hear one of these songs come on the radio, or see one of the videos played on a supposed music television channel, my heart fills with a slight anxiety over the lifestyle you are promoting. I still sing along and even dance a little, but always slightly anxiously.

Now, it’s very true that I don’t know you at a personal level. However, your recommendation to continue dancing after losing your cell phone and keys is one recommendation that I would be reluctant to take. Also, I would not be questioning how my shirt was turned inside out, but rather when and why my shirt became turned inside out without my knowledge. Not to mention that it’s rather alarming to me if I could not remember the name of the establishment wherein I was just dancing.

Moving on to your second single that is burning up the charts, “PokerFace”. I will admit that as far as the music is concerned, it’s highly enjoyable. I’ve annoyed many a friend with my rendition of you singing “Pa-Pa-Pa-PokerFace-Pa-Pa-PokerFace”, and for that I thank you. My concern, however, is with the music video. In the beginning of the video, you are emerging from a pool wearing a swimsuit and some sort of headwear that appears to be a mix of a bicycle helmet and those small mirrors from disco balls. The swimsuit, of course, is reasonable. The headwear, however, is something I would question. It looks like it would be difficult to keep your head above water while sporting that supposed stylish headgear. Of course I could be jumping to conclusions in that you were swimming. Perhaps you were just wading in the shallow end, as that can be quite fun on occasion. Also, throughout the video, you have a tendency to make the OK symbol with your hand, then place said hand over your face, so your eye is appearing through the loop made by your thumb and index finger. While I can find nothing intrinsically wrong with that, I have to wonder what exactly this gesture has to do with the game of poker. Perhaps it’s your way of informing the dealer that you are checking to the next player. If you can provide any clarification, by all means.

This writing is not an intervention by any means, Ms. Gaga. It’s merely a voicing of my concern over the lifestyle/fashion choices that you appear to be making. Maybe in your next video, you may consider wearing something a little more practical. And maybe attempting to dance, rather than flailing around like electrodes are going off in random parts of your body. Again, just an observation.

Those are the thoughts I’ll leave you with. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to send a letter to Kanye West about his choice of sunglasses, and the lack of UV protection they provide.




One response

14 03 2009

Haha thats a good one, don’t get me started on her promotion of maintaining your virginity until marriage, as we see in her latest film clip Love game, where she gracefully models a pair of chain mail panties.

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